Friday, March 24, 2006

The 6th month mark

I've reached by 6th month mark. I am getting mighty anxious and impatient with the whole process. I've been feeling worse lately, partially because I'm going on a 2-week long business trip, meeting with these unknown strangers, trying to have meetings with top senior executives without being too embarrassed with my braces. Everyone will be staring at me, and probably making internal comments to themselves as to why a 30-yr old would have braces so late?! I guess it's OK in the office because everyone around me are generally nice people and they know me. They know who I am and can see pass the braces. But for complete strangers, it is a little unforgiving. They will simply judge me on how I look and how ridiculous I look.

Another friend of mine announced she has a baby on the way. This is the 7th announcement of the same sort within the past couple of months. Now what does babies have to do with anything to my teeth and braces? Well, one of the biggest sacrifices for me when I first decided to get braces was to delay having a baby. My husband and I agreed that if I were to get braces and go through surgery, that we would wait until everything is over before starting a family. Because we know what having braces would entail, and most importantly, what surgery would entail. I would be kept "under" during the 5-hour operation and rely on liquid foods thereafter. Obvious indications that being pregnant during this time is not a very good idea at all. So we made the choice. But these recent baby announcements among my friends make me feel like I am missing out. I should be getting a baby by now... I am afterall turning 31 this year. I'm not young anymore. I am just depressed as to why my braces and surgery can't be done quicker?! My next adjustment is not until April 20. It seems such a long time away since my previous adjustment was in February. I am getting antsy. I wonder when should I set up my surgery date. WHEN?!

My profile has gone from bad to worse. My lower lips are sticking out so much they don't touch with my upper lip anymore. I have to forcibly make them touch and remind myself to close my mouth. It is not a pleasant sight. I am damn ugly! When will this end?! Why do I have to be born with such big jaws!?!